Smacked in the Face…Again


I know this one is personal this time and not something I would usually put on a business blog. Why did I…Generally because there are many families out there who go through the things we have in the last 12 months. It hasn’t been good or nice. It is upsetting, stressful and though we have to work through this…yet again…we will learn as well go.  Life is full of learning curves. I just wish they were NICER.

What Happened.

denied-1936877_1280

As many of you probably know we relocated to England so we could spend time with my elderly parents. My dad has Dementia. Also it is their Diamond Wedding Anniversary. The idea was to stay for up to five years and assist my parents, let the grandchildren get to know them better and my husband have time with them. We hadn’t seen them since my son was three and he is now coming up nineteen

All but my husband is British. He is a Kiwi, part of the Commonwealth, ruled by the same Queen with similar laws. He came to the UK with our son in November 2017, entering on a visitors visa and applied for a Remain to Stay (ILR). Fingers crossed. Yesterday he received the later. HE HAS BEEN DENIED.  HE HAS TO GO HOME, SPLITTING UP OUR FAMILY.  Ok so our family are now all adults, however we are extremely close family unit. We won’t be able to stay together. He has to go home to to another country. However we can APPEAL, though is it worth it? Probably not.

If he goes, he’ll probably go alone. We don’t have the airfare for the whole family, in fact I don’t have a current passport either and there is no use getting one until I can afford to return to NZ.  We can apply for a spousal visa, of course this costs more money and can take months to be approved or denied. They need six payslips from me to say I can support him. Once again…life hits…I get paid monthly so this means we can’t even apply until next year.

My husband is a good man, upstanding citizen of NZ, worked hard all his life to provide for his family. He helps my mother with my dad, giving her time out. He will miss their Diamond Wedding Anniversary unless we appeal. He is also still waiting for them to return his passport and partial refund. 

For the first time in our lives we will be seperated by the actions of the British Government – we’ve been married for 26 years and the longest we’ve been apart is five months – when I last visited my parents.

I have heard of many who go through this and others who won’t even try due to the restrictions. I look forward to returning to New Zealand next year, unless we try for the spousal visa. Being without my husband for the next six months will be difficult, though I thank God we have the internet.

Thanks for listening and good luck to those stuck in the same or similar situation. I feel for you. 

10 thoughts on “Smacked in the Face…Again

  1. Anne Copeland says:

    And I thought this sort of thing was only happening in the U.S. I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family at such a difficult time when you are needed where you are. So truly sad. I am holding good wishes for you and your family that things will change for the better. Life can be full of rain when we least need it. Anne

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