Word War with Cac the Proofreader – Understanding Jokes…

A SPECIAL TREAT FOR THANKSGIVING FROM CATHY.  

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.  
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. 
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice. 
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening. 
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.” 
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. 
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything. 
• A question mark walks into a bar? 
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly. 
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.” 
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud. 
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves. 
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart. 
• A synonym strolls into a tavern. 
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack. 
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment. 
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor. 
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered. 
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel. 
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known. 
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph. 
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. 
• A dyslexic walks into a bra. 
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines. 
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert. 
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget. 
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

the pen is mightier than the sword!

Cac The Proofreader
Committed. Accurate. Consistent.
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